NOVEMBER 11, 2011

Tonie Never sat uncomfortably in the pleather booth of the dingy roadside diner, wincing at her bitter coffee while reading yesterday’s newspaper, which she’d found stuffed behind the toilet paper dispenser in the restroom. President Burke had just attended a National Security conference at Georgetown university on computer espionage and terrorism. Her thoughts swirled lightly around the paper, very much like the swirling coffee in her cup after the most recent stir. She felt sticky, soft and buttery inside, unable to concentrate on the content of the article even as her eyes moved blankly across the page. She wasn’t sure how she’d ended up at this particular moment of her life. She had planned on being married by now, maybe working on a kid. She’d always thought thirty was old, but she was finding her concept of ‘old’ shifting beneath her as she approached it, receding into the horizon like a mirage. Thirty, Forty, even Fifty suddenly didn’t seem that old. Andy had picked up his last personal things last night. She hadn’t been able to look him in the eye, afraid to see the pity in his eyes, the secret gloating of having gotten over on her. She drank more coffee to keep the tears down. She wanted to hate the bitch from his office, but knew that distance had been growing between them for longer than he’d had the job.
Her booth squeaked and groaned as she shifted, which made her look up to see if she had disturbed anyone. There was no one to disturb. The waitress was sitting on the opposite side of the counter, feet on a step-ladder and holding a mop, watching some strange German television show on the tiny television above the service window. A large MUTE showed in the top left corner of the picture, obscuring some sort of score. No one else was here, nor would they have cared had they been. The place was old, and served greasy food that was unpopular in the health-crazed modern world. Plus, everyone who lived in Vegas was at work, and those here vacationing weren’t up yet. She was somewhat surprised to find it open when she’d arrived, but was happy to have someplace quiet with her thoughts. She tossed the paper onto her table. Everything in it was blurry and incomprehensible to her right now anyway. Her head descended slowly, as if moving through clear syrup, and met her arms on the table as she folded up into a softly sobbing package.